Black Friday Laughter

Yesterday (the Friday after Thanksgiving) is called Black Friday -- Why? -- because it is the day stores turn a profit due to the massive crowds that come out to do Christmas shopping seeking glorious bargains. I did my part to contribute to western material profitability...I went shopping at 5:00 a.m. when the stores opened. Now, to be honest I've done this for several years in a row - it's not a new thing. Why would a sane (usually), sensible (not always) older guy like me join the maddening crowds of frenzied shoppers who brave the mornings after Thanksgiving in search of the "super specials"? I would like to be able to say that it's because I'm spiritual and I am getting my shopping out of the way before the beginning of Advent, which is tomorrow, Nov. 26th. I would like to say that I'm an early morning guy anyway, so why not go out and get it over with? I'd love to come up with some nice spiritual, or at least sensible, answers; but one trip out on a Black Friday would lead most people to realize that it's not a fun place to be if you're interested in sane and sensible!
Linda was going to go with me this year...her first time ever. We set the alarm for 4:15 and when it went off, I went "Uugh!" I was tempted to ignore it, catch another hour or so of sleep and just forget the whole thing...but then Linda got up and I thought, "OK, she's getting ready", and so I got up and started to get ready also. No, she was not getting ready, she was instead saying, "I don't think I feel good enough to go out...", which left me with the choice of either congratulating her for stopping me from also going, OR....do what I did, go on without her.
I slipped into the car at 4:45, a cup of coffee, and four store circulars from which I had noted things I was after...five great bargains, one purchase for myself, and four presents to finish off most of the shopping I would need to do. As I took off, it hit me that traffic was about the same density as I've seen traveling into Madison on weekdays at 9:00 a.m...that should have warned me. I foolishly kept thinking, "I wonder how many people will be there at 5:00 a.m.?" I thought a couple of hundred would be at Best Buy, my first stopping place...FOOL! When I pulled up to Best Buy, I noticed the parking lot completely full! In fact, the restaurant parking lot across the street was also full, and there was a long line awaiting the doors to open in a minute to two. I notice that there was a line out of Kohl's next door, but I wasn't going there, so I bravely walked across the lot to get in line. THE LINE...snaked around the building, along the wall and across their back loading and unloading area...and then made a uturn where it snaked back towards Kohls! Yes, that line outside of Kohls was actually the end of the line for Best Buy! Uugh!
I stood and thought..."this isn't going to work, switch plans and get to the Mall first". As I passed through the lot, I saw a Best Buy traffic/sales/I-got-stuck-maintaining-the-line person and asked him, "When did people get in line?" He replied the first arrived at 3:30p.m ON THANKSGIVING DAY! Later on I met one of those who had been in the line since 3:00 a.m., they were about 50 people back from the door...got what they wanted in less than 10 minutes and stood in line to check out for 1&1/2 hours! No thanks...sane, sensible man is thinking I should have stayed in bed.
Nevertheless, there are still four presents to find, and so off to the Mall I head. It's not wall to wall people, but there are a lot of people in the first store. That is when it began...the smile, and the inner laughter. People watching...kids watching...amazing moments that made me smile. I headed for the section for gift #1...easy, it was there! Yeah! Standing next to me is a woman talking on her cell phone...one of those walky-talky ones... "No, don't go there, they don't have any left, I found ones at Sears"...squawk..."how much?"...squawk..."$17.95, she replies". I thought, "it's a military maneuver!" I had all I could do to stop from laughing out loud. I walked away, heading for department #2, gift 2, along the way I started noticing people's faces...serious, stern, focused! These were people on a mission. I started smiling and those that noticed probably wondered if I wasn't either a store owner or security...only a couple smiled back. As I got to #2, a woman walked alongside...three close-to-teenage kids in tow..."OK, now (names a name) what would you like to do, what do you need?" Before the kid can answer..."And (next named kid)...what about you..?" Again, before either one can answer, "We need to get organized and be as effecient as possible with this time." The kids had that hollowed glazed look on their faces that kids give to parents when they have checked out on the parental concern topic! I smiled, and turned away. A woman walks past in a hurry..."C'mon (she names his name)", and clearly he is following along grudgingly. I find #2 and head for the counter to check out. I'm standing behind this woman, but a couple of feet away, when this woman walks up, totally oblivious to my presence and steps in behind her and in front of me...I decide to say nothing...and smile! Then, the husband steps in next to her..."Honey, you cut in front of this guy". "Oh, I'm sorry..." We start a light-hearted conversation. He wanted to be up north deer hunting, but dad had to go to the hospital, and they decided to do some shopping since they were home anyway. "Do you do this every year?" I ask..."No, I've never done this before, and I don't know that I ever will again!", he says..."Oh, Larry", she gives him a good nature slap on the shoulder! We laugh.
On to quest #3...no one is in this line, wow! Amazing, but the clerk and I exchange pleasantrys and I ask how she handles a day like this..."It goes fast", she says. Are people generally nice? "It depends...not if they don't get what they want at the price they want it for." I check out, "Thanks, hope you can find some peace in the middle of this hectic crowd, Happy Thanksgiving and Merry Christmas to you". Off to stop #4 - back to Best Buy.
It's not an hour and half later...6:30 and the line outside the store is gone, but there are a lot of people inside. I head for my goal...shoot, not there! A woman in a Best Buy shirt sees me looking..."Can I help you find something?" "Well, I was looking for this thing," pointing to the item in the circular. "Ok, let's see", and walks to a table not at all connected to this item. There's one left!!!! Success, victory, God is good! I had to ask, "So what was it like in here at 5:00?" She smiled, "People made a mad dash for different bargains...most were snapped up in less than 30 minutes...we ran out of" --and she named off three big bargain things. I smiled, thanked her for her help and went to the back of the check out line which by then had been reduced to only about 100 people!
Home at 8:00, my presents purchased, and coffee in hand...I pronounced a fun-filled zany adventure in people. Black Friday laughter...as I laughed my way through explaining it all to Linda...she was not convinced she missed a great Adventure. Still, the sane and sensible man I usually am gave way to my German, never miss the chance to get a bargain!